Only a dream
by Katsumi Ashia
Summary: I still love having those dreams, but after the 39th time you have this dream you realize something. You realize that you have an obsession with your crush. And now it looks like I'm Hallucinating. What's wrong with me? Neji X Tenten....
1. stupid dreams

Alright a new story from me!!! I like to thank my editor: Dunni!! Thz for ur help!

I gave up on my first story so I hope this makes up more than enough!

Review to keep the flame burning in my youth!! YOSH!!

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-Tenten's Pov-

I dragged my feet while walking through the streets of my beloved village, glaring at a few people who stared questionably at me. I wasn't tired or anything, I was just…mad. I'm mad at myself for dreaming! Not that dreaming was a bad thing; in fact I looked forward to getting my dreams every night. The problem is what my dreams were about.

I use to love having dreams of my only sane, hot, and darn sexy teammate confessing his love to me or vice versa. Don't get me wrong I still love having those dreams, but after the 39th time you have this dream you realize something. You realize that you have an obsession with your crush. Should I still even call it a crush? As far as I know it was much more than a simple liking.

Either way I do not like having a mania with my best friend. What if he found out? I could already hear what he would say; _'You're worst than my fangirls. Get out of my sight; I have lost all my respect for you.' _A little dramatic, but hey, it took a lot of sweat and blood to earn Neji's respect! That's no joke.

As I neared the field for which I was about to train at (a.k.a: Training grounds) I started walking correctly and fixed my angry face. If I show up at the training grounds without 'youth' Lee and Gai-sensei would question me.

"Morning!" my voice came out smoother than I had expected it to.

"Morning, my youthful comrade!!" guess who that is.

"Hn." I could see Neji getting up from meditation. His long, dark brown hair swayed as he crossed the field with graceful steps. Only he could do that without looking too feminine.

Minutes later, we went on to our normal routine; Lee went to go somewhere to run laps with Gai-sensei, and Neji and I stayed to spar.

----- 4 hours later -----

"Neji, I think we should take a lunch break now…" my voice was hoarse. My throat dried as the result of the 5 hour training session.

"Hn." He relaxed his fighting position.

Using all the strength left in me, I went over to bag to get my bento. It felt like my whole body was being dragged down by heavy chains making everyone of my aching muscles scream in protest. "……." Damn it! I forgot my lunch! How could I forget lunch, it was the only thing that revives me after sparring!!

I stared intensely into my bag as if food would magically appear in front of me. A gurgling sound reached my ears a few seconds later. My head looked around to see wear that sound was coming from. The sound came out again. Where is that coming from? Looking down at my stomach I realized that was me making that weird sound.

Neji made a coughing noise. Crap. Did he hear that?

"Tenten." My head turned to his direction. My heart sped up. This happened every time he called my name. Every time he touched me (which was rare, unless we were training). Every time he did _anything_ around me. I inwardly sighed. I hated myself for loving him so much.

He was looking at me with his usual blank face. "Tenten…" My heart sprinted. "You forgot you're lunch." It was not said as a question, but a statement. Shit. He did know. How embarrassing.

He close he his eyes. Was he mad at me? Was he annoyed? My eyes dropped down to the ground out of shame.

I heard him get up. "Hn. I don't have lunch either."He didn't have his lunch? Something's up. Neji was always prepared. He never forgets things, ever.

I sadden has he walk away with his bag. It surprised me when he called out, "Are you coming?"

My body moved on its own to his calling. In half a second I had my bag and was walking right beside him.

"Where are we going?" I asked that, but I couldn't careless where he was taking me as long as I was there. Wait. I can't believe I just thought that! That was soooo corny!

"Eating." He didn't look at me. In fact he hasn't made eye contact with me for awhile now.

We ended up eating at the barbeque place Asuma sensei always brings his team to. I ate slowly, trying hard not to stuff my mouth in front of Neji. My eyes shifted to his plate. He was already eating.

I tried focusing on my food more, so I wouldn't be tempted to stare at him. I fail. I took a quick glance at his face. He was staring at me. His mouth was open slightly as he was ready to say something. He couldn't be. Maybe he just thinks I have no table manners. Yeah, that's it. I mean he's been keeping his distance from me for a few weeks now. Why in the seven hells would he want talk to me now?

I noticed I stopped eating. I looked up at him. His eyes were so beautiful. I couldn't remember how to blink.

I dropped my gaze cowardly as he opened his mouth to speak. I knew what he was going to say. He was going to point out something I did wrong, or something I didn't do well enough, or anything that explains his sudden distance from me. His sudden silence. His sudden…

"I'm sorry" I truly was sorry. I hate seeing him unhappy with me, unhappy with anything. I knew those two little words couldn't do anything, but then again, I've never done anything useful for him.


	2. wrong words

--Neji's POV--

I've been meditating over the subject again and again. At first I didn't like it. I tried to avoid the truth. I did everything I could to stop thinking about it. I evaded her. I stopped talking – except those occasional one word answers - to her. Hell, I even stopped making eye contact with her. But I the more I keep away from her the more I wanted to accept the truth.

I felt her eyes on me. It took every ounce of strength not to look back.

I loved her. I fucking love Tenten! I hated this so much! Every time I see a man looking at her I have the urge to kill him. Hell, I almost beat the crap of Lee because he commented Tenten had _'grown'_. But that time she beat me to it, I felt extremely smug as I watched Tenten throw various sharp weaponry at the boy in the green spandex.

Tenten chewed slowly, actually too slowly. The way she eating looked like she had peanut butter stuck to her top of her mouth and she was having trouble getting it down.

I was about to ask why she was doing that. Was she not enjoying her food? She suddenly made a quick glance at me. I froze.

She always made me nervous. Hyugas were **not** nervous people. Except Hinata, but she was a different story. Every word that came out of Tenten made my ears sharper. Every movement she did, I always felt like I needed to decode. Every time she touched me – whether it was by accident or not – it felt like fireworks were exploding inside of me. I hated that she had so much control over me.

Her eyes went back to me. I made the mistake of staring back. Was a mistake when I enjoyed so much? Her dark brown eyes were so soft, beautiful. My heart thrashed against my rib cage so hard I didn't think it was healthy.

I am _Hyuga Neji_ for heaven's sake! I do not let emotions get the better of me, ever. But why does this thing called love not go away? What's worse is that…I don't want it to go away.

It made me wonder what her feelings are for me. I mean she didn't fawn over me like my fangirls did. She never overly blushes around me like Hinata does when she's with Naruto. I appreciated how didn't stalk me, but I think I wouldn't mind if she did. Would she think badly of me if she knew I thought of this?

Before I knew it my mouth was open to say my thoughts out loud, but she interrupted me.

Her gaze dropped down to her lap. "I'm sorry." She did not whisper it, but she sounded as if she was frightened. What was she scared of? Me?

"What?" My words came out a little loud. I couldn't believe she would think I would do something bad to _her_!

Tenten turned her head to stare through the window. She didn't say anything. I decided to wait for her answer.

She glared at me a few seconds later. She sharply hissed at while doing so. "Don't act as if you don't know. You've been avoiding me, you don't speak to me, and you never look me in the eye! And I know…" her tone was softer now, "it has something to do with me."

Fuck. How did she find out? Were my feelings really that obvious? Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm screwed…

"Tenten, it has nothing to do with you." I used my dismissive tone. I could change her opinion if I play my cards right.

"Hell yeah, it has everything to do with me!" she stood up seeming to forget the people around her. "Did I do something wrong? If I did…" she murmured, "I can fix it. Please don't…don't be mad at me."

I was speechless. She didn't know about my feelings, far from it. She thought she did something wrong because I was avoiding her. That's insane! Why the hell would he mad at her?! Her plea was too much for me. It made me feel guilty—even though I wasn't blaming her for anything—seeing her with that blush across her looking embarrassed making her seem adorable. She bit her lip, looking away.

By now people had already started staring at us. Some of were in the middle of eating and had stopped, their food dangling from their chopsticks. The waiters and waitresses that were bending down to serve the food had frozen like a statue.

"Tenten…" I stood up. What was I going to say? I can't really say 'Oh, I was just avoiding you because I reeeeally love you.' Or could I? No, that wouldn't be right. Her almond, brown eyes stared intently at, as if she was about to witness the end of the world.

Whispers were being passed along. I heard some mutter 'What is he doing? Breaking up with her?' 'That poor girl.' 'What a cold hearted guy!' 'She really is a brave person. If I was her I would be sobbing by now, but she does look like she's about to cry…'

I felt myself slowly sit down. Then I said something I was going to truly regret for the rest of my life. "Tenten, please stop being so foolish. You're making a scene. Just sit down and don't be so stupid to worry about my personal life."

No! That was not me talking! Because I was so utterly confused I had let the Hyuga common response to a lower class take over me. I only do at Clan meetings!

Tenten head dropped, her smooth, brown bangs covered her eyes as she slowly took her seat. I wished so badly to take back those words while I watched her slowly eat her food. The silence that hung in the air was so heavy; it was difficult for me to breath. It was still there after we left the restaurant.

We walked a slow pace as I escorted Tenten to her house. It was not dark yet; the sun was just beginning to set with its orange rays dancing across the sky. I didn't care about the stupid sun or sky right now. My eyes stayed focus on the sidewalk ahead. I was afraid to look at her. That didn't mean I still didn't steal a couple of glances at her, though. She kept her eyes focused on the ground making me uncertain of what she was thinking, but I was pretty sure she upset with what I said by the way she kept her walking distance at the minimum of four feet away from me. I was nearly choking on the tense atmosphere.

This walk home was different than the one we usually took. It was not filled with the laughter of Tenten's cheerful voice; in fact I haven't even heard her voice since the restaurant. I felt a thug at chest. Her voice, I really want hear it.

Tenten's feet stop walking, her head still down she said in a low whisper, "It's fine here. I can walk the rest of the way back to my house. I don't want to trouble you."

My heart raced as I heard her voice again, but it felt painfully heavy once I realized what she said. We were only half to her home, I got the message she wanted me to receive. She didn't want me. Ok, the was a bit corny, I meant to say was the she was currently tired of me. After what I said I would probably want to be as far away from me as possible. As much as I knew this it still hurt walking away, my feet leading me away from the friend I just hurt.

"Hn." That was all I could say. Why was it so hard for me to say sorry? Stupid pride…


	3. Waking up late can lead to bad things

Okay...srry for the reeeeeeeeeeeally long wait for this chapter. As a treat for you guys i made it longer than usual!!

Srry if there r alot of mistakes, this is the unedited verson (cause i'm lacking an editor at the moment, so if anyone would like to help I would be grateful.)

Hope you enjoy!!!

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Back to Tenten's POV!!

I sat up from my bed and grabbed a kunai off my night stand. It twirled in my hand, I was trying to distract myself from reality, but it failed. The scene at the restaurant replayed in my head. Stupid! I hated myself right now. I had to go and embarrassed myself like that! Worst is that I embarrassed Neji too! Stupid! I scolded myself again.

What was he thinking right now? My guess is that he thinks I'm an idiot and really annoying. That thought caused an uncomfortable knot in my stomach. The grip on the kunai tighten, almost hurting my hand.

It's really not my fault! I mean, when a friend of yours avoids you like a he might catch a disease just by looking at you, you're going to be concerned about it! And hell yeah, it was **my** business! It was **me** he was trying to avoid after all! I growled. What was I doing blaming myself three minutes ago! I should be mad at **him**!

"Damn it all!" My voice bounced off the walls, making a slight echo of _'all…'_

I grabbed one of my pillows then angrily threw it at the wall in front of my dark red bed. With the pillow still flying in the air I hurled the weapon that I was currently holding onto. The kunai stabbed the innocent, fluffy pillow. Pinned to the wall the cushion shagged down, ripping the farther it shagged. I sighed when my headrest finally reach the end of its fabric, falling down and spilling its soft feathers.

Great, oh just fucking great. Now I have to clean that! It's all Neji's fault! Fuck him!

I fell down roughly on my bed. That's it; I've decided I'm moving on from him. Yup, I'm giving up on even trying. That means more involving myself with him more that necessary. That includes staring at his nicely toned chest…touching his finely muscled arms…and getting lost in his eyes of an endless ocean of white…

This was going to be harder than I thought…

My eye lids felt a little heavy. A long yawn came out from me. I turned to my little wooden clock on my night stand. 10 pm. It's been a long day, I need some rest.

"Tonight," I heard myself mutter, "no more," another long and loud yawn came, "dreams of Neji…"

My eyes closed.

_I saw him. He had his usual training clothes on. I noticed his shoulders broad for a seventeen-year-old. His hair was as dark brown, the color of coffee, and slickly as back turned to m, so I was unable to see his face._

_I noticed he was standing in front of a two-story house. Its beige walls, white rectangle windows, and a red wood door with a long line craved across it–probably from a kunai–looked familiar. _

_Neji took a step forward to knock on the door._

_I gasped when I realized whose house that was. This looked a lot like my house! What was Neji doing at my house?_

_I heard fast approaching footsteps inside. I lived alone, so why was someone inside? If I'm out here, then who's inside? I tried to say something to Neji. Mouth opened, but I didn't get to speak. Someone opened the door._

_Who was it? My teammate was in front of the person, so it was difficult to see. I took a couple of steps forward, craning my neck to get a better view. _

_Neji moved his arms, wrapping them around the figure I still couldn't make out. I stiffened. There was a slight tug at my heart. His head leaned down, arms tightening around the girl's waist. Another tug, harder this time. _

_I saw arms encircling his neck, pulling Neji closer, yet another tug as painful as the last one. I grew angry. 'What the hell?!' I mentally cursed as her sickly hands entwine in his hair. 'Why was someone I didn't even know at my house and touching Neji?!' Ok, I have to admit he had the right to chose who he wanted to be touched by, but why the fuck my house?!_

_I wasn't going to watch this. My mouth opened to say something, but I heard nothing. I could feel my mouth move, so I was sure I was talking. _

_Neji seem to have noticed me and turned to face me, I caught a small glimpse of the girl. I couldn't see clearly, she seemed to blur. Though, the only thing I was certain about her is that her hair was dark and long. Neji said something I didn't hear, but he turned my attention turned back to him. Maybe it wasn't what it looked like (though it seemed impossible). Maybe there was a reason…_

"_Don't be so stupid to worry about my personal life. In fact, get out of it." _

_The tug was so strong and painful; it felt as if my heart had been ripped out. It had been useless to love him in the first place or even to have made an effort to know him better. All those days, years, of training together did nothing. All the support and care I gave him, none was noticed. I've known. Though, I didn't do anything to stop my feelings._

A loud knock at the door woke me from my dream. A dream. Yes, it was only a dream. I told myself this, but the dream lingered in my head.

Bang! Bang! "My youthful teammate! Please, answer your door!" The voice sounded rather impenitent. Then another series of loud banging came.

Lee? What was he doing here? Especially banging my door like that. I sighed, forcing my tired body to get up out of bed and down the stairs. I was scared if Lee didn't stop knock there would be a large dent on my door, maybe even a hole. I groaned at the thought. Broken door equals money. Money equals something I really don't have at the moment.

Opening the door I found a very determined Rock Lee. He was wearing his usual green spandex and mint green Jounin vest.

"Tenten-chan, I know you have a youthful reason why you are late!" He said with a smile, his teeth glistening in that odd way they always did.

"Tenten-chan, tell your youthful reason!" Lee yelled cheerfully, way too close to my ear.

"Tell you what?"

"That reason you are late of course!"

"Late?" My voice trailed off. Crap. I ran into my house, going in my small modern kitchen I read the clock next to my refrigerator. 9:00 am! I was five hours late!

"Tenten-chan!" Lee's voice rang into the kitchen. He must have stepped inside.

"I'm so sorry Lee! I just…I didn't…GAH!" _WHY COULDN'T I WAKE UP!?_ I began beating my hands onto my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Tenten, you mustn't abuse your youthful brain cells!"

I stopped and looked at him. "Lee, I'm reeeeeeally sorry! I can make it up, I promise! How many laps do you want? A hundred? Please punish me yourself and not Gai sensei!" I was pleading, something I do at rare times like this. This kunoichi has never missed a training session…except for once. That one time wasn't pretty. Gai made the work doubled by the number of minutes I was late. I was thirty minutes late that time.

Lee was suddenly quiet for a minute. He looked at me, staring with such intensity. My cheeks, I suspected, turned a slight pink. I never really felt confident with people staring at me like this, unless it was on a battle field.

His face was serious. I knew there were times when he turned like this, but every time I see him like this it always surprises me. When you see him always bouncing around and yelling something about youth, you forget this side of him. "When you didn't show up on the battle field did it have to do with Neji?"

I closed my eyes. Did it have something to do with Neji? No, I just simply didn't wake up, but I wake every morning without a problem. Maybe it was because…The dream came back to my thoughts. The image of Neji's arm encircled around another woman danced around in my head. My heart was having that uneasy pain again.

"Are you okay Tenten?" I opened my eyes at the sound of Lee's voice. My body was leaning backwards on the counter, both my elbows resting there, and my hands had a hard grip on the edge. His hands held both of mine, squeezing them gently making my hands and body relax off the counter.

"I'm fine. Well, I think am for now. It's just…" It was hard to explain without sounding like a desperate idiot. Lee led me to my couch while I told him about dream with every detail not left behind. I loved this about Lee. He would listen to you with such intensity; it was never hard talking about something as personal as this with him. It was just comfortable with him.

"Why does it matter so much?" Lee asked when I finished my story about the event at the restaurant. His face said that he wasn't trying to be rude with the question.

"It matters so much because I worked so hard to gain his trust and friendship. Do realize how hard that was for me? For us? He thought both us were useless teammates with no abilities. It would hurt so much…if he just threw away the bond we built."

"Yes, it would hurt, but I think that's not the reason why it matters so much. I think it is something deeper." I had almost forgotten I had not told Lee about my feelings. Even if he was easy to talk to, it just never came out of me.

"I know that you know the other reason," I was still nervous about saying this out loud, "I was jealous, ok? It really hurt me to see Neji with another woman. It's just that…I love him so much it…hurts to know I will never…"

"If you accept the fact that you're not good enough for him, then why are you mad? Why does it bother you that he's ignoring you when he's already out your reach?" The look on his was hard to describe. It was a cross between determination and encouragement.

"But I…"

"Oh? There's a 'but' in this? That must mean deep down in the back of your mind, you still want to try to reach him. You still haven't grasped the facts that you made up yourself to try to hide. Tenten, how would you know whether you had a chance with him if can't see what you have?"

I sighed, I knew he was right. No matter how much I tell myself that loving him won't go anywhere, I still can't give up. Every day I still try my best for him, still hoping it's good enough. "What do I do Lee? If he's avoiding me, I'm pretty sure I did something wrong."

"Well, I'm pretty sure you haven't done any that would make him want to avoid you. I really wouldn't know. You know, maybe he's uncertain about his feelings. Maybe you should tell him yours."

"Oh that sounds like a fucking fantastic idea! I'll just go up to Neji and say 'I love you long time'! Sure, maybe he won't totally hate after that and we'll live happily ever after." I was spitting out sarcasms that probably would have made a small child cry.

"Oh, hi Neji! Did you hear Tenten's youthful confession?"

My head turned around to the door so fast, I was amazed it didn't snap off. It horrified to find Neji standing a feet away from the door with widen eyes and a gapped mouth. By the look on his face he HAD heard our dicussion. _He hates me, he's embarrassed, you ruined the friendship, and you're done for it!!_ Those were the first thoughts that came running into my head.

I did what my instincts told me to do at the moment. Run. I jumped off the couch and ran, heading towards my stairs to my room. They called my name over and over again, but I all I could was the thud, thud, thud of my feet on running up the stairs. Of course life had to be fucking complicated. Since I wasn't paying attention I had forgotten the last step, result my foot getting caught in it which meant I had other option, but to fall backwards.

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Le gasp!! Will Tenten die?!

Nah, I'm not that mean.

Keep me supported with your reviews! Plz!

~Katsumi Ashia~


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